girls, trees, birds, & bees

hello no manners

2010-06-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

i usually don't come on here to talk about my job...
but today is the day!
i just cannot help myself!
what the hell is with people these days?!
is there anyone left who has manners on this entire planet?

who walks into an establishment with a bikini on,
demands a phone book without a please or thank you
and then proceeds to talk to her snotty-ass friend
about some stuff that doesn't even involve what we do?
the answer to that is:
a girl with no manners.
shortly after that walking abortion of right action,
in comes another award-winning idiot who forgot her license
(but remembered her newborn)
and then gets on the phone with every person
in the surrounding area who just might have her i.d. on file,
including another tattoo shop,
her father,
an old boss,
and a few others.
she's yelling at her dad (i know, so classy)for not finding her i.d.,
and then going down the street to photocopy and fax it!
no one thinks this type of thing is trashy and/or highly inappropriate?
i guess not.
i get that we are a tattoo shop,
but it's still a business...
no shirt, no manners...
no service!

stinky sweet baby pie

2010-05-23T05:05:00.000-07:00

sometimes i actually listen to what is coming
out of my mouth when i'm speaking to my dog...
and it's ridiculous.
i won't stop,
mostly because i don't think it's possible.
i come from a long line of inane dog talking.
some people do baby talk,
but babies are small humans
therefore making it less cute
to speak to them in that manner.
dogs, on the other hand,
are just furry baby head noodles.
it gets so bad sometimes,
depending on how adorable the animal is being.
it isn't always a dog...
it could be any animal.
it even happens in public with other folks animals.
i got it bad,
and i don't even want to be cured.
i'm okay with it,
i just feel bad for my other half.
embarrassing!

assembly required

2010-05-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

i hate seeing that.
i hate assembling...
it's almost no fun.
i purchased a bench for my mud room yesterday
and they told me at the counter that assembly was, in fact,
required.
i feel like it's almost the same thing as telling me it's broken
and needs to be put back together.
i don't feel i should have to pay full price for something
i have to build.

i experienced a different situation, but equally irritating
whilst shopping with a friend a week ago.
she was buying some chairs and the legs were scratched up.
she wasn't about to pay full price for some crapped up chairs...
so, out comes the manager.
the manager very dryly stated that in a situation such as this
taking a black marker to the damage was a perfect solution.
i couldn't help pointing out that the legs of these chairs were brown.
that's keepin' it classy...
nothing like the old marker trick.
i can see if the chairs were already in your own home,
you might do some quick fix action...
but honestly,
no one should leave a store with full priced
damaged goods.
what a load.

so un-vegan

2010-05-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

where can you find the sweet sounds of neil diamond
and smell the stank of fresh paint?
my house of course!
i also threw in some rolling stones,
but no, i didn't paint it black...
it's a refreshing tinted white.
it's all happening this morning.
i got up early to finish this bathroom project...
it's waaay to nice out to spend it all indoors!

i did discover some undesirables whilst doing this project.
ants.
as a vegan weirdo it's hard to decide what to do in this situation...
but i made the decision to kill them.
there was entirely too many of these house destroying guests.
they weren't those harmless little sugar ants
that hang around the trash in the kitchen.
i don't like the idea of insects eating my house.
ew.

singing in the rain

2010-05-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

i don't care if it rains today...
it's been downright balmy,
and i like it.
the windows are open and everything smells fresh...
or it did until my neighbors had their septic pumped.
i was enjoying the new spring smells...
and bam!
poops.
infinitely less appealing then new leaves and flowers.
thanking the stars for the breeze
that carried the stench into someone else's yard.
it looks like a storm might be brewing...
but i enjoy a thunderstorm and so does hubby man.

i'm working today,

so i'm hoping for productivity...

and money.

don't hassle me, i'm local

2010-05-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

seriously.
vacation people are sooooo irritating.
with their faces.
ugh.
i half expect the human race to start regressing completely.
crapping on sidewalks and in department stores.
i feel as though it is now socially acceptable
to pimp out your young offspring as well.
it all sounds adorable, i know...
but in reality nothing is a cute about a nine year old
wearing pants with "cutie" written on the ass.
it's gross.
it's trashy.
it's also everywhere.
i don't mean to sound like a thousand year old,
but does anyone know what class is anymore?
i'm not talking about the thing teens skip
so they can smoke in the bathroom
and dry hump their boyfriends at their locker...
i just sayin'.
get some b*tches.

holly made me do it

2010-04-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

i haven't blogged,
i know.
holly was upset about this
and was on strike from her own blog
until i got back into mine.
i cannot be responsible for that so here i am!
i was telling my dear holly the other night
about how i think of blogging all the time,
i just don't actually do it.
i was also discussing "man leavin's"
with her.
ladies, if you have a man and you don't know what this means
then please go directly into your bathroom and scan the floor
(sinks or toilets will suffice)...
you will most likely detect "man leavin's".
usually these leavin's are a direct result of shaving or shedding...
and in most cases
they are usually in the form of some sort of hair.
that's right babies...
pubes.
my husband man
informed me of what they were just recently.
i had inquired as to why and how a mass of hair
formed on an area that had been clean(and hairless)
prior to his visit to the bathroom.
his response was this...
"man leavin's"
that is all.

effervescent technology

2010-01-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

do you know about this?
i think it means bubbles,
but it sounds so advanced.

i am perpetually amused
by the ways in which companies
sell their products to us dummies who cannot
comprehend their genius.
maybe it is just me,
but the words effervescent technology
sound really unreal...
but it makes me want to eat it.
i want to enjoy the effervescence,
and i want it to work its magic to stop my sniffles.
reading products to find out which is best is a lost cause for me
because of the technology of which i speak.
it's too special to ignore...
better than the rest?
probably not,
but i cannot avoid the appeal of such nonsense.
maybe it is the nonsense alone that attracts me.

spotlight on this business

2009-12-31T16:26:00.001-08:00

i know, i'm terrible.
a blog slacker...
and that is super lame.

i just wanted to say thank you;
to the universe, friends and family
for making 2009 such a bright and positive year.

it was a very productive year, i've realized,
now that i am reflecting on it!
we got a lot accomplished...
but somehow it doesn't feel like i personally did enough.

i am hoping 2010 will also be a productive year,
it'd be nice if a lot more art gets made.
i think it will happen,
because,
i am feeling more settled.

this winter will undoubtedly be a long and cold one...
so i will be indoors in too many layers,
making some art,
and looking like a scary bathrobe-wearing cat lady(sans cats).

you know,
i have been rocking the bathrobe outdoors whilst walking my dog.
but only in hopes of offending the very wealthy part-time neighbor folk.
they have a fondness for massive spotlights...
and i'm guessing an unhealthy fear of the dark.
they are from mass. and i'm not certain,
but judging by the lights and the direction they're shining in,
they may be trying to land a helicopter on our roof.
i'll keep you updated.

happy new year, everybody.

lovey-doveys

2009-12-08T06:16:00.000-08:00

everyone who reads this knows for certain:

i am a crazy animal lover...

-every day, all the time-

...and today is no different.

at breakfast, in this house, we watch the critters

and make observations and discoveries...
usually it's nothing too noteworthy.
chipmunks have got to be fast around these parts

if they want to get down on a tasty peanut or two

because the blue jays stuff them in two or more at a time

(that's what she said)!

today ,

i was loving on some very beautiful doves.

they eat all the little seeds i don't bother to identify.

i've also decided i am their mom now,

because i love them SO much.

they left cute little foot prints all about;

and i do enjoy that sort of thing.

i will try to be a good mom...

i will feed them and tell them how awesome they are

and they will mostly ignore me,

wait for some food and take off all ungrateful like,

and i will continue on with my day,

and do it all again tomorrow.

ah, the joys of parenthood.

almost christmas

2009-11-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

ugh.
every store
is playing christmas music...
a psychological trick to get you to buy more sh!t.
it mostly makes me want to leave as fast
as i'm physically capable from the offending establishment.
it is just so dang obnoxious.
some folks don't celebrate christmas,
and some just plain don't give a hoot,
so the atmosphere in these stores seems oppressive
and a tad offensive(depending on the song).
i have a special hate for anything adam sandler gets paid to sing
because it just isn't funny (sorry paul).
it feels stifling to me,
and i'm not hating on christmas...
i just want to get through thanksgiving first.
one major holiday at a time for me...
they usually consist of less money and more stress,
so i'm all set with rushing to the next one.
jeez.

it happens

2009-11-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

sometimes.

sometimes in life you start your day the wrong way

and it cannot be helped...

and other days you get to choose to how they start.

two days ago i made the choice to start it right...

or my dog, olive, did.

i was walking her on a beautiful leaf covered path

that lead to a picturesque field with mountain views.

i was taking in this breathtaking moment and feeling very relaxed

which is what caused me to lose track of what my dog was finding

breathtaking.

it didn't take very long for me to discover it

because she got really excited

and brushed some of it onto my leg.

turns out,

she was really amped up on some animal sh!t

and wanted to share a bit of it with me.

i could have chosen to get really upset with

this scenario...

but i chose to laugh at it instead.

i mean, really, it was pretty funny.

i mr. rogers it

2009-11-09T14:01:00.000-08:00

so,
it turns out i pull a mr. rogers really hard.
what i mean by that, is,
i looove to come home and change my outfit...
and shoes,
to a more house-friendly attire.
it feels so good to get out of the work pants
and put on the sweats.
i do not endorse any kind of sweatpants wearing
outside of the home...
unless (and this is a big unless)
you are jogging for some god-awful reason,
or you are coming back from some type of invasive hospital visit.
these are some of the only ways
where it is okay to wear that type of clothing outdoors...
or if you are grabbing the mail and jetting back into the house.
also, another exception would be pregnant ladies
because their business cannot be contained by regular pants.
i just feel like if you are wearing sweatpants,
or something of the like,
out of the house
you have clearly given up on your dreary existence.
it just looks sad.
what a bummer.
so,
i mr. rogers it...
and it's awesome.

where are my watercolors?

2009-11-08T06:20:00.000-08:00

somewhere in the mess of my daily goings-on
i seem to have misplaced (or flat out lost )
an entire set of very expensive watercolors.
the worst part (besides that i use them a lot, and they have sentimental value)
is that i have a painting to do with said missing paints...
a painting i'm supposed to actually get paid for.
seriously...
what the heck is up with that?!
i had a meltdown yesterday that would rival
a toddler not getting it's way in a toy store.
embarrassing...
yup.
but it was worth it.
it didn't bring them back,
but i felt a little bit better.
holding it in isn't my strong suit.
apparently neither is acting my age!
i'll get it together,
someday.

an emotional weekend!

2009-11-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

wow,
a lot of things are new!!
i am now a mrs. and it's pretty darn cool!
my hallowe'en was awesome...
it was warm, friends were here,
the kids got to go trick-or-treating
with me and some of my special girlies,
and i had an all-around good feeling.
that feeling was mostly because i was overwhelmed with emotion...
i was so happy!
on our actual wedding day
my family and long-time friends were representing
and making me feel squishy with warm feelings.
my dad and stepmomma were here,
and my real momma was here and also
made the wedding cake,
the kids helped with the rings
and all were getting teary-eyed-
which made it really hard for me to get through my vows
with grace and any kind of composure!!
i felt loved and it was awesome...
so i would like to thank all who attended!
i would like to thank all who didn't attend but still thought of us...
thanks!

skate or die

2009-10-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

trained circus bears...
it's huge in russia, they love that sh!t.
apparently one of these overexposed
and overdressed bears killed its trainer the other day.
the best part is...
the bear was wearing ice skates!

i'm sorry,
but that is sooooo awesome.
the un-awesome part is that police showed up and ruined it
(no surprise there) by shooting it to death.
i wonder if it was a black bear...?
ooohhhhh!!
whilst reading the article i noticed that nowhere in it
did they mention how sad it was the bear was killed...
just his insipid trainer.
booooring.
the bear got to make his feelings abundantly clear...
and then was punished for doing so.
i'm no genious but i'm preeeeety sure
bears weren't meant to ice-skate and wear costumes.
the people who endorse this type of wrong action deserve a good mauling
and the folks who do it definitely need to be eaten.
that is all, good evening!

a most amazing day

2009-10-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

sometimes a band comes along that is so good,
when you listen to them

it feels like your skin is coming alive

and all the little hairs are doing a salute.

basically,i'm talking about the avett brothers.

and if you don't like them,

something is definitely wrong with you

and you might want to get that checked out.

seriously,

why are they so good?

if you don't know who they are you should find out...pronto.

in other news...

halloween is on its way and i have been decorating like a maniac

on the floor, and the walls, and the ceilings a bit.

my very excellent friend elsah and her excellent momma

helped us out a lot with some pumpkins(homegrown) and some secret

roadside bittersweet!

the weather was beautiful today so it was nice to get out and grab some free

decorations in the wild!

...with a little help from my friends

2009-10-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

seriously,

i'm so lucky to have the friends i have.

i had to blog about the awesomeness of them all.

i actually feel like i'm getting things done...

and only because of the help of these blogworthy buddies!

emails, phone calls, stop-bys and drives!

i even had a pie made for me (props to krystle)!!

it's really a fantastic feeling to know i have folks

in my life who are genuine.

in this busy time it is a relief to know if i have a

head full of junk and a mouthful of complaints

SOMEONE will put up with it in a graceful fashion.

you just can't beat it i tell you!

thank you beautiful friends!

i love you all!

i love snouts

2009-10-07T05:16:00.000-07:00

the fryeburg fair is awesome for so many

reasons...
the food,

the people watching,

the falafel(of course),

the rides,

the smells...

all the fair goodness one could hope for.

i have to say, however,

one of my all time favorite things(i think in the world)

is an animal snout.

i'm not talking about weird snacks here folks,

although i'm almost sure they offer it,

i'm talking about the snouts still connected to the animal.

a big wet snot-nosed cow makes me happy all over.

i just love them.

pigs are known for an adorable snout,

and i agree,

but i like them all!!

i'm not sure all the noses i enjoy can be categorized as a snout,

but i also enjoy the word.

i fell in love with a particularly audible goat

and pet him for a long time...

especially his warm fuzzy snout area!

i do realize i'm a huge dork,

but i'm also okay with it.

stenchy wipers

2009-09-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

what do you know about filth harpies?
harpies, by definition,
are very undesirable creatures
that live in heinous conditions and are all-around unpleasant.
i discovered i personally know one of these filth-mongering nasties,
and it crawls out from some kind of gallows of hell to invade my space.
i have mentioned said individual before,
but i had another unfortunate sighting this afternoon.

i swear this type of scum-lapping jerk
sets off to intentionally ruin someone's day...
it makes them feel good
like any self-respecting bully would.
the trick is to understand that this particular style of bullying
doesn't work on people who couldn't care any less about what is coming out of the
stench hole they call a mouth.
sometimes these people don't know they are callous
driveling losers that no one could ever respect.
normal people would almost feel sorry for such a creature...
but not me...
i'm really hard-hearted about the grody
urchin-like people who never learn from their mistakes
and whose only purpose in life is to get high and pretend to be in control
whilst berating others to make themselves feel important.
seriously, ew.

small favors

2009-09-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

i have been slacking on the blog,
i know.
a lot is going on these days and i have been busy
trying to sort it all out.
the leaves are changing and the chilly winds are blowing!
we got some rain as well these past few days,
so that will make the leaves do what they do.
i discovered a small earthly friend the other day
relaxing under some damp tree bark...
a salamander!
he(or she) was relaxing until i came along and disturbed
his temporary shelter.
i had to move the little nerd because he was in my driveway
which seems like a bad location to set up camp
when you are four inches long.
i figured he would be safer under some hostas
nearer to the side of the house.
it was the least i could do...
salamanders are a sign of luck(depending on who you ask)!

the fair is coming so i should have some good pictures up soon!

money tree

2009-09-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

i have been pondering the quote
"money can't buy happiness".
my extensive research on the subject
tells me that whoever coined this little gem
had no idea what they were talking about.

every single person i know would be happy
(or a lot happier) if they didn't have to worry about money.
seriously,
it's what most folks complain about.
most problems i know of are due to the lack of funds
people have access to.
so what gives?
i understand that money cannot possibly buy all kinds of happiness
but it would definitely help in most areas of peoples lives...
and buy a lot of it at any rate.

just so i don't sound super negative...
i did recently enjoy a lovely fall day
apple-picking and eating cider doughnuts...
which was rather enjoyable.
money, however, did buy the apples and doughnuts.

the non-wavers

2009-09-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

so,
today my big undertaking was to re-do
some old chairs.
you know,
remove five layers of thick paint,
sand them and re-paint them.
i bought some kind of chernobyl sauce
to goop on them to aid in the paint removal...
and it was working,
just not as well as i had hoped it would.
i was thinking it wouldn't take more than a few hours,
but it proved to be an all day event.
the worst part is...
they aren't even done,
and i think i have a blister!
in other news,
i was noticing whilst slaving away
on said chairs that my neighbors
might be assholes.
they are non-wavers!
what kind of un-neighborly nonsense
is that do you suppose?
shunned and we just got here!
i can see if they had a good reason
for this gross behaviour...
but they don't,
or not that i'm aware of!
i feel like for the rest of the warm days i should
sit outside in the middle of my yard...
in a cheesy plastic lawn chair,
in a bathing suit...
and boots
holding a shotgun whilst swearing loudly at my dog...
or whatever else is around.
this is the type of thing that makes neighbors not wave...
not the quiet, polite,
and friendly ones that we are!!
bastards.

wallpaper woes

2009-09-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

wallpaper...
how many layers is too many?
i'll tell you my friend,
apparently there isn't such a thing
as long as you paint over it,
or at least that is what the last inhabitants
of this house thought.
seriously,
they painted over lumps, bumps
and holes like it was cool.
i will tell you something else...
it isn't that cool.
thank the stars some inventor
came up with the wallpaper steamer
because we just couldn't handle the
amount of wallpaper they stuck to this place
without it!

in other news,
i have been leaving small treats for our chipmunk
because he visits every morning.
raisins, sunflower seeds,
and some other delicious(and nutritious)
snacks.
the kids were doing that,
so i am keeping with tradition...
and one very happy rodent.

a little taste of fall

2009-09-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

ooooo, the nights are getting chilly,
and the days are feeling a wee bit chilled themselves,
so as you can imagine...
i'm getting even more psyched on fall!
we kicked off the pre-fall weather yesterday
by enjoying some cider doughnuts.
those of you who have enjoyed these little round delights
with us know they are totally blogworthy.
those of you who haven't should get your little round ones
up here and enjoy some with us,
so you can understand what fall tastes like.

in other news,
i purchased some solar lights for the driveway yesterday
and can't wait to see them in action!
solar powered anything really rocks my socks!
i know it is super-nerdy to get excited about such things,
but who really gives a hoot?

i am missing my friends and family
who i haven't seen in a while,
but i think (and hope) i will see most of you this fall!
albie and i are hoping to enjoy our favorite season with our favorite folks...
you know who you are!

legend of the fall

2009-08-28T16:30:00.000-07:00

mmmm,
it is starting to smell like fall!
it is my all time favorite for sure,
and i'm really excited to break out the sweaters
and smell the wood stoves going!

OCTOBER:best month ever.
HALLOWEEN:best holiday ever.
fall has the best feeling for me...
hands down...
the smells, the trees, the pumpkins!
don't forget about pre-Halloween apple
picking!
everything about the fall is awesome.

we are making big plans for this Halloween
since it will be the first one in this house!
many pumpkins will be carved and candles will be lit...
costumes will be made and worn
and food will be consumed!
yup,
it's root beers, friends, and family!
it doesn't get too much better!
sleepy hollow will have to be watched,
and Halloween cards will need to get made...
so i'm going to start preparing!
get ready friends...
some of you may be enlisted to help...
boo!

just stuff

2009-08-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

so lowe's and home depot
are my new favorite hangouts apparently!
i find myself there more than i should.
i collect good ideas
and things i probably don't need...
but i'm okay with it.

i try to get most things i need at local shops
because that is the way it should be...
but the depot and the like
carry a bunch of stuff the local joints do not.
today i purchased a really amazing metal
antique looking hanging basket to put my newly
purchased hanging low light plant in.
i find it to be incredibly exciting to gaze upon.
those of you who have been to any of the places i have lived
know i have a plant problem.
i just love them...everywhere.
they make me feel at home...
which inexplicably may be a tropical jungle!

i haven't been blogging as much as i should be,
but i'm blaming the kids for that.
we just HAVE to go have fun
which really leaves me little or no time for myself.
they go home tomorrow,
so it should get regular-ish after that!

i should have blogged about my awesome dad
and stepmomma who recently payed a visit to
the new house,
AND
took us all out to eat several times...
bought treats and spent time making memories.
thank you.
we love you the most ever.

charlotte?

2009-08-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

i feel like i'm living in a fat man's armpit.
it's about one hundred degrees out here!
dang!
i strongly dislike this type of heat,
but i also dislike air conditioning that feels as though
i've transported myself within mere minutes to an arctic region.
i might just be a weenie.

in other news,
we have the most epic spider of all time nesting in the eaves
of our house.
she's huge and it's borderline offensive,
but she is also very beautiful and really busy.
her web is a work of art beyond comprehension...
and it's great because she lives OUTSIDE
which means coexisting peacefully without confrontation.
i'm going to try to get a good photo of her.
she is totally blog-worthy!
-love, jess

a new view

2009-08-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

wow, it's been awhile!
i'm back from the busiest adult activity
i have ever participated in!

we are in our house,
and we are slowly taking it one step at a time...
which is good because you can never know
if you are coming up on a loose step in an old house like this one!

we have a lot of work to do
but i'm hoping it will all be worth it!

the kids are here enjoying this new place
with us,
exploring and playing and just being excited!

we sat out on the deck last night and watched the stars
and satellites.
what a view!

i will be blogging again and getting some pictures up soonish!
i'm off to work today...
and that is getting harder because all i want to do is paint and clean!
it's all so boring and adult!
how fascinating it all is!

could this be news?

2009-07-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

it's a real scorcher in the mountains today!
i ran around more than i like to ,
and got much sweatier than i'm thinking is okay,
but,
i'm feeling good and busy
like i'm actually accomplishing something.
whether i actually am or not remains a mystery!
we are going full busy bee for the next couple days
and if all goes as it's supposed to,
we should be in a house we can call our own!

i will keep you informed
about the goings-on of this long
strange trip we seem to be on!

it has been long and strange
and downright sweaty and stressful...
but if we actually accomplish this very grown-up thing
i'm going to be really impressed!

hmm,
i mentioned a long strange trip
and being sweaty...
but back off hippies, i'm wearing deodorant
so i'm not one of you!

be well folks and keep everything crossed for us!

friends in low places

2009-07-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

sooooo,
have any of you ever stared
at a light socket for so long,
it started looking like angry little yellers?
i did that,
and fully endorse you trying it.

i have also befriended a saggy old balloon
who has been hanging out since my birthday...
and he's not hanging high anymore,
he was about eye level this morning
and now he's sitting about eight inches above the bed.
he's wrinkly,
but still sparkly
and i love it.
i love the way he hovers around
like he wants to hang out with me!
i just can't take the scissors to him yet.
i will wait for him to do his thing in his own good time.
it's only right.

maybe i'm going a bit nutty over here...
with good reason...
we got some news today,
and it was good news,
soooo,
those folks waiting on house news
will have to stay fully tuned in
because it looks like it might actually happen...
keep your fingers and toes crossed friends,
and we'll get this party started right!

the nuttiness of it all

2009-07-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

hello, hello!
the kids are traveling back home today
and i'm traveling to work a bit later so
i wasn't able to go for the ride.
bummer!
the good news is...
we had so much fun packed into a short amount of time!
but...
due to the excessive fun having ,i have been slacking on the blog front!

it is another rainy one today,
but we have been really lucky this past week
with awesome weather!
staying indoors with two nutty kids can get old really fast for everyone,
so i'm grateful we had the opportunity to get out and get wild in the great outdoors!

i will (hopefully) have a more entertaining blog in the coming days...
because big moves are getting made,
and news of such moves is coming soon...
until next time...
(probably tomorrow)
be well friends!

so glovely

2009-07-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

we are headed to glover,vt
tomorrow to see bread and puppet...
friends and kids and bread and puppets!
it's all very exciting!
we are hoping the weather will behave itself
because it get pretty dang miserable in pouring rain...
or the scorching sun and humidity,
although we have sat through both!
it's worth it though!

i will hopefully have an update
for you folks when we get back
from our vermont adventure!
tune in for ultimate excellence!

horsing around

2009-07-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

the kids are here and we are having FUN!
our best good friend casey has been so f'n the best ever!
she took harvest and maple
to the horse barn whilst albie and i worked ..
two days in a row!
she also took them swimming, out for ice cream,
lunch, and made tons more fun for them to have!
she taught them how to clean a hoof,
clean a stall, ride a horse, groom a horse
and tons more!
i think it is safe to say she rocks!
we say THANK YOU to casey!
tomorrow albie and i split the day with the kids
and then we have time off with them for the rest of the stay!
it has been hard with work being so busy to get time off...
plus we need the money!
tonight it's face masks and spongebob...
so get ready!

dining amongst d-bags

2009-07-12T06:11:00.001-07:00

yesterday was my mom's birthday.
in the morning, before work, i delivered her some flowers.
and later that evening we took her out to dinner.
me, albie, paul, and casey accompanied my momma bear
to a thai restaurant,
which seemed like a good quiet place
to enjoy a birthday dinner...
WRONG!
i guess i thought all the douchewads
would have brought their junior miracles
to an appropriate place for dinner,
somewhere, like, their own hotel rooms,
or friendly's,
or any other kid-friendly atmosphere.
i should have known better.
no self-important miracle mom
is going to take her kids to where
those "other" kinds of moms take their kids.
these magical mom wizards want their kids to
experience 'culture' by ordering them american fries
and chicken fingers,
in a thai restaurant,
whilst letting them scream and jump from their table to
go off and be oh-so-adorable at someone else's table.
we made it abundantly clear we didn't want them at our table.
the mother of this particular brood didn't once discipline her
turdlets when they yelled or got up to bother the other diners.
it was really something.
they were so incredibly loud and disrespectful
but i noticed an air of snobbery in the parentals
that was really quite amusing given the circumstances.
i felt bad my mom couldn't totally enjoy her dinner,
but at least i know i'm not wrong
for hating on this kind of oblivious d-baggery.
it is everywhere and it is almost always blog-worthy.

the cut-down

2009-07-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

so,
blogging is hard sometimes!
i wish i always had something clever
and inspirational to say,
but that only happens once in a while!
it has always been after the fact
that i think of something amazing to say.
you know how it goes...
someone totally embarasses you,
and you've got nothin' to say
so you just get mad and storm away...
then later in the car while you're drooling with fury
over what you should have said during the attack
you come up with the most incredible
book-worthy cut-down of all time,
that would have reduced the assailant
to a pile of nasty cigarette loogie nobody would hang out with.
i think i spent most of my high school years thinking
of smart comebacks to the lackluster (yet hurtful) dirtbags
who felt i was beneath them because i had an imagination
(and some reeeeaally cool clothes) ...
which they would have totally known about
had i ever come back with my clever remarks
at an appropriate time;
instead of two hours after the fact.
of course,
i have gotten pretty good with the quick comeback
but rarely get a chance to use my skill!
doesn't that just totally figure?

albert likes dogs

2009-07-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

...as pillows

the full hate load

2009-07-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

i want to know what is happening to people in this world.
i'm wondering if folks are actually getting dumber
or if they just dress and act that way.
it is so depressing.
what makes some parents think
everyone wants to hang out with their children?
i'm wondering what weird chemical reaction
is happening in their brains that makes them think this way.
is it something found in cough syrup
or cheese?
i have some news for the parents who think this way;
your kids are not miracles...
your womb is not a magical place
and your kids are not special.
i do not want to keep an eye on some brat
who runs free in a store whilst breaking shit
because their idiot parents cannot be bothered
doing their job.
i definitely don't want to eat dinner in a restaurant
where people are letting their little miracles scream and throw stuff
and get up from the table only to run by mine.
it's rude.
it's off putting
and it is definitely not a miracle.
a miracle is the rare parent whose children
do none of the above.
a miracle is the kids who have discipline and manners.
apparently parents don't feel the need to instill these
values in their special little offspring anymore.
just having one is awesome enough i guess.

i don't hate on kids...
just the bad ones,
and even then,
it is the parents who deserve the full hate load
for sucking at life
and for not having the forsight to not procreate.
the future does not look bright
so there is no need for shades.

best day ever!

2009-07-04T05:27:00.000-07:00

happy fourth everyone!
the sun is shining and a cool breeze is blowing!

yesterday,
i celebrated my 30th birthday!
i woke up to breakfast made by and albie and paul
and later opened up my mountain of gifts,
including a giant antique trunk!
friends and family sent cards and well wishes
and some showed up surprise style!

my friends are all awesome!
paul made a cake and helped albie
all day long with everything...
even my dogs!
casey and april took me out for second
breakfast and cool beverages
and quality hang out time!
i was showered with gifts!
holly and dan came up bearing gifts!
people called!
the SUN was OUT!
we all had dinner,
and then watched fireworks!
i had a fantastic day!
thank you to everyone
who made my day super awesome!
i really appreciate all of you!
i even recieved a beautiful handmade necklace
from krystle!
you are all so great!
thank you, thank you...
best birthday ever!

raindance

2009-07-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

i wish that there was someone i could fight
to make the rain stop.
i am not a fighter,
but i would go toe to toe
with whoever did the raindance
that has caused this insane amount of
water coming from the sky.
it is really uncool...
downright proposterous!

i cannot recall a time in my life
when this much rain has fallen!
it doesn't seem possible!
i am wondering if it will ever let up...
and if there is a reverse rain dance!
it is all very depressing.
the crap-ass mosquitoes
are the only happy ones.
figures.

frog mission

2009-06-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

i love slugs.
not just slugs,
but all the sticky little earth-dwelling creatures
that come out at night!
it's rare to see a snail,
but when i do,
it's like discovering a little slimy pot of gold!
they are just so dang interesting!

sometimes it can be stressful
finding these little friends,
because they blend so well
that they are really easy to step on!

the frogs that are covering the roads
on a dark rainy night can be really stressful whilst driving!
i am forced to drive ten miles and hour
to try to avoid the little amphibian cuties,
but they don't make it very easy!

what causes them to embark
on their dangerous mission?
i need to know!

maybe this will have to remain one of the great mysteries
but i'm almost positve someone knows the answer...
i want to learn!

rainy day art making

2009-06-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

so,
i'm finally making art again.
it's a slow process right now,
because most of my supplies are in storage.
the rain is keeping me indoors
so i'm taking advantage,
and it's about time!

i think this monsoon-esque
situation is making me tired,
so i have to constantly fight that off.
i will not let this weather beat me...
i'm going to boycott the television and make
some new creations.
it is a dirty temptress, that television is;
but i am fighting back.

i hope to have something interesting
to say or show soon...
otherwise ya'll aren't going to stay tuned to this blog.
i will try harder to find something awesome to speak of.

the dampness

2009-06-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry i haven't blogged in a bit,
i was busy mourning michael jackson.
no i wasn't,
but thriller was so good.
i think it was my first record.
it's a big deal.
celebrities don't seem real in the first place
which means that dying just isn't what they should do.
speaking of that darkness...

it is raining again
and that isn't good for the folks with gardens.
i'm pretty sure the poor veggies are waterlogged
and depressed,
and so are the owners of said veggies.
i don't feel that summer has fully arrived
and i think it has something to do
with the amount of long sleeved shirts
i'm still wearing.
summer bummer.

lets hope for sunshine so we can walk on it.

sweatin' balls

2009-06-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

it is so flippin' hot out right now!
the rain decided to take an unexpected day off today!
i was working,
but i heard all about how lovely it was
from the folks who had the freedom to leave and actually enjoy it!
i have been guilty of pointing out the obvious myself...
like when everyone knows it's one hundred degrees of pure
misery inducing mugginess and someone HAS to say
"christ, it's hot out!"
as if before the statement was made
nobody would have noticed for themselves.
you know you've done it.
i am trying not to do it
because it makes me feel really unoriginal.
i guess we do it because
no matter what crowd you happen to be in
you can point out that collectively
you are all sweating your balls right off!
it's nice to have something in common with your fellow man...
and although i personally do not have a set of balls to sweat off,
i will say it anyway just to share with the group.

...and the truth comes out!

2009-06-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

sooo,
it turns out that the star-faced teen
was lying and actually did ask for 56
stars on her face.
what a shock.
i'm actually not shocked at all,
i just wasn't sure you sensed the sarcasm.
what is the world coming to?
she tried to blame that all on the tattoo artist...
even going so far as threatening a lawsuit.
what a winner.
she said she was lying about it
because her father became upset
after seeing her star spangled face piece.
honestly,
what did she expect her father to say?
i would normally say
he should have severely punished her;
but i'm almost positive living the rest
of her life with that crap all over her face
will forever be a testament to her insanely bad choices.
if she isn't in the career she always wanted
she might want to think twice about those lasers...
because she is now highly unemployable.
what a downer.
i have devoted too much time to this ridiculous story...
but i felt the need for a follow up in case ya'll
didn't get updated by the news.

taste the rainbow

2009-06-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

i just ate too much.
i was really excited to come home and eat
and i've gone and given myself a stomach ache!
i hate that!
sometimes i get really hungry and come home
and eat a bunch of stuff
that doesn't lend itself to feeling well afterwards.
that's always a bummer.
cereal and pickles don't vibe with each other.
throw some skittles in the mix
and you got yourself a rainbow vomit party.

i haven't yet actually had the mad dash to the toilet...
but i'll keep pushing my luck.
that is so like me.

animal payback

2009-06-20T16:45:00.001-07:00

now that i am exposed to cable
i will occasionally indulge in some quality programming.
my new favorite type of show is,
hands down,
the ones where people
are mauled horribly by frightened animals.
hold on now,
don't get your undies in a twist...
i know how that makes me sound.
i'm specifically speaking of the type of giant idiots
who torture bulls,
and then try to ride them,
whilst a crowd of geniuses cheers them on.
never once in the program
do they mention how these folks most definitely
had it coming.
i would enjoy the show
a lot more if that fact was observed.
oh well,
it is entertaining
but not educational.

face full of stars

2009-06-20T05:56:00.000-07:00

has anyone read about the teenager
who recieved 56 star tattoos on her face?
by accident?
that is so ridiculous.
she claims she fell asleep
and the artist just went to town
tattooing a map of the constellations
on her face!!
first of all...
i highly doubt anyone would fall asleep
during facial tattoos.
who is that relaxed during that procedure?
also,
she was only supposed to be getting three stars
which should only take 15-20 minutes, if that.
she most likely passed out
and in that case,
(or in a case of falling asleep)
the artist should have stopped tattooing her altogether!
i wonder how that court case is going to pan out.
either one or both of them is lying.
what an unfortunate situation for everyone involved,
but mostly the girl who ended up with stars all over her face.

nazi so fantastic

2009-06-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

today i tattooed a gentleman
who wanted a big black swastika
tattooed on his inner arm.
not the buddhist/hindu/native american kind, either.
i guess if you want to be offensive,
you have to go big and black
(that's what she said)!
don't worry,
he brought his seven year old daughter
to witness the hate stain.

some people would argue that
i shouldn't tattoo such heinous symbols
i don't personally agree with.
i have to tell you,
i don't agree with most tattoos
people get.
i can't be anybody's moral compass
and my job is to put a tattoo on,
not lecture individuals about their futures
or lack thereof, as the case may be.
i will not say that my way of thinking is the right
way because i don't like folks doing it to me.
if a person wants to advertise hate on their body
i guess i look at it as a warning to others to not befriend these
individuals.
a big black warning.

virtual friends

2009-06-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

i just read a question on the dot com.
it read "are virtual friends real friends?"
that's an easy one:
no.
i'm not saying people cannot make new friends online...
that is NOT what i'm saying.
i'm saying myspace and facebook and the like
promote the fake friends...
the "friends" who share your last name so they feel you should talk.
the "friends" who want to bookmark your b-day,
although they have no idea who you are.
i'm sure i have some stuff in common with thousands of people...
but in no way do they get labeled "friend."
friends are people i would spend time with at my house.
friends are people who i would cook dinner for,
and call when i'm sad.
i would also hope they would call me
when they felt the same.
i love my friends and have no use for myspacers
who i don't want to share my space with offline.
i am grateful for the long lost friends who have
contacted me through facebook.
they started as real friends and
will always remain my real friends.
i don't like friend maintainence
unless they are actual friends.
i kick it old school.

sucking it up

2009-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

this rain is spoiling my walks!
i have been trying to walk my poor sad
doggies and this weather is a real crap stick!

work today could also be described as
some form of crap stick...
although i'm not sure what type.
i'm not fully sure what is happening
in there!
but it is definitely crappy.

i miss talking to my family and friends
and might have to break down,
and get a cell phone.
i don't know how i have made it this far...
according to most people they would
just DIE without one.
i have zero interest in dying,
so maybe i should suck it up
and get a stupid phone.
i'm holding out...
but i might be cracking.

the day ruiners

2009-06-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to abby today!!
it is raining here...a lot!
abby is in portsmouth,
so i'm not sure what the weather is doing there!
i hope she has a fantastic birthday!

i am off to work to have a less-than-fantastic day!
i can't predict the future,
or even the immediate future,
but i do know my work situation
is a less-than-stellar one!
i don't need a crystal ball to predict that!

i am going to stay positive,
although the odds are stacked against me;
because what else can i do really?
no sense going into a day with a crappy attitude!
i would like to go there and make some money,
because i hear that is what people do at work...
however,
the person that said that didn't work where i do.
day ruiners.
that is the title given to the people who clearly know their role.
they never stop doing what they do.
i guess you stick to what you're good at right?
some folks can wreck your day, professionaly!

2009-06-13T06:02:00.001-07:00

exorcist-style

2009-06-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

olive peed on the floor.
i know why she did it...
she's upset that i left her.
i also was just telling people how great she
has been behaving,
so she got me there.
i guess she just wants to make sure
i don't confuse her with the better,
smarter version of her.
a little reminder.
a little reminder we are not in kansas anymore
and toto doesn't like the layout.
i can't say i blame her.
the spot i cleaned up on the rug
is now the cleanest spot on that particular carpet.

sometimes, i get mad enough to want to pee on the carpet,
but i don't want to mark this territory as my own...
remember in the movie the exorcist when
reagan comes down the stairs and takes
a hot green pee on the carpet at her mom's party?
i'm almost positive the dog was
trying to convey the same sentiment.
it is safe to say she was "pissed."

bum shack

2009-06-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

i had absolutely NOTHING to say yesterday!
i have been sulking!
this house hunting business is really
not even close to being as fun as i thought
it would be!

i am trying to keep an open mind...
i understand we most likely will not find a house
that has EVERYTHING we are looking for!
i would like to find one(or two) that are mostly
what we are looking for and over time we can make the changes
necessary for our lifestyle.
what a production!
up here in this area we see a lot of
townhouses and condos.
i don't like neighbors that are too close
let alone connected to my house!
what a total bummer.

i'm trying my best not to be a negative nancy
but it is getting harder.
i feel bad for our realtor!
he is so friendly and calm!
he definitely thinks we are weird though!
he has given up trying to show us anything nice
and just emails pictures of ugly stuff...
because it just might be heinous enough for us to dig it!
he might get it eventually!
poor fella.

i am a complainer!

2009-06-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wish i didn't turn off the commenting option
on this blog so i could see who agrees with what i'm writing!
i don't, however, care about people who DISagree...
which is why i don't have comments.
today i will be complaining about previously recorded songs
being covered by newer bands with 'funkier' renditions.
i mostly hate it.
usually the songs were good the first time,
and don't need some unoriginal ass recycling and doing them AGAIN.
even if they were done in the eighties...
leave them be...
they are awesome!

i guess it doesn't make me mad enough to
write about it in two paragraphs!

i do think we should do this house full
vacation style,
and get a maid.
how am i supposed to feel like i'm on vacation
if i'm expected to clean?!
really.
i obviously don't have a lot to say today...
but i can always talk about stuff i don't like!
what a jerk i am!

seriously they aren't

2009-06-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

i'm sure you have all seen the magazines in the stores,
or the garbage on tv that boasts
"stars, they're just like us!"
i would love to know how that is true.
is it because they chew their food before swallowing
or wipe their private bits after going to the bathroom?
i personally have someone else wipe mine...so it's not that.
i just cannot figure this one out.
i don't have an astronomical amount of money in the bank
received just for knowing how to do one thing.
i don't stay in hotels that cost thousands a night
or go on a little shopping spree with my millions...
so it isn't that.
they don't even put on their own make-up.
i 'm going to look into this matter further
but for now i have to go find an assistant because i have to
go to the bathroom.
it is so hard to find good help these days.

no business like show business

2009-06-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

gosh,
today was sooooo boring at work.
we weren't there for too long.
i did visit my friend krystle and her adorable
child brynne!
that made the day infinitely better.

it looks like rain is on the horizon
but one never knows up here!
i think we are in for a quiet night,
which is really nice.
the television is becoming a problem
since we have cable up in here.
it is so addicting...
and i hate that.
i realize i'm sitting there slack-jawed
watching the most ridiculous sh!t!
i thought i was above that kind if idiotic drool-
inducing behavior, but apparently i'm totally not!
i will have to put a stop to all this picture-box ogling...
...right after i go watch my show!

unflavorful silliness

2009-06-06T17:13:00.000-07:00

i want to share something i find amusing.
scents and flavors of certain things really stress me out!
for instance...
right now in the bathroom at this rental house
we have a few different rain scented items that
smell nothing like any rain i have ever smelled.
i believe one of them is called "after the rain"
which i have identified (as i've mentioned in a previous blog)
as worms.
also watermelon flavored anything tastes NOTHING like
any variety of watermelon.
green apple?
don't get me started.
i don't know who these unknowers are
who named these things,
but i am officially mad at them.
a tasty green apple flavored candy treat would be delightful
but what you get can only be described as green.
apples are good...
green apple candy is not.
some folks who make jelly beans
(candy beans) got it right
but they are the only ones.
utter silliness.

lions, tigers and hairbats?

2009-06-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

porcupines, foxes, and bears

OH MY!

it is like a wildlife park over here!
i'm getting used to scoping out the yard
before putting the dogs outside.
it is due to the simple fact that they will most
certainly confront whatever animal is around
and i'm pretty positive a bunch of quills to the dome
isn't only unpleasant...
it's expensive!
i have to keep my eyes open 'round these parts!

i bought the pups some black fly spray
because they are chewed up!
it's gross.
the bugs are aggressive up here in new hampshire.
after 5p.m. underneath the deck is like the temple of doom
it is scary stuff i tell you!
i saw a spider last night the size of a half dollar.
it was downright unacceptable!

in other unrelated news...
i woke up with a hair bat on my head!
for those of you who aren't familiar with the hair bat;
it is when you wake up and all your hair is on the sides
of your head and there is no hair in the back.
hair bat.
i am seeing animals everywhere!

...and i'm back!

2009-06-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

hello!
i'm back to blogging!
we are in the temporary house!
it feels like a vacation here,
which is really strange since i'm only about fifteen
minutes from where i was!
we have cable here...
and i've been watching it.
it's total luxury!

we saw a huge porcupine this morning,
and,
about two million chipmunks...
unfortunately,
the dogs saw them as well.
we will quickly become the most irritating neighbors
this quiet town has ever known!
i will be back on top of this blog situation
now that we are here
and the laptop is working!
we have a phone issue right now
meaning we can call out locally
but if you live further than here...
you must call us!
i will be contacting family
and friends with the number!

still grateful

2009-06-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

this is getting ridiculous!
i'm up late again,
cleaning and scrubbing and
packing and moving!

i'm very tired
and a little cranky.
my dogs are confused and
itchy(due to an excessive amount
of mosquito bites) and
my allergies are in full force!
what is a girl to do you ask?
complain!

seriously though,
i'm grateful for a place to go
and a place my dogs can go.
i am also grateful for friends and family
who are taking frogs, fish, books
and plants!
i'm grateful for the friends
who stop by and ask if they can help
and the ones who listen to my rants about
a bunch of malarkey!
thank you all!

sleepy time moving time

2009-05-31T19:18:00.001-07:00

wow!
it is so late right now!
i should be in bed!
this blog will have to be short due
to my sleepiness!
paul and jim are here and
moving is happening tomorrow...
and the next day,
and the next day.
it won't be fun but friends
will be around sporadically to
aid in the moving
and just make the day better all around!
maybe i will try to whistle while i work...
i hear that's the way to do it!

oh so guilty

2009-05-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

we left the house early today
to go get disappointed by some more houses.
i thought before work i would
sneak back home to let my
dogs out before my" work day" began.
no such luck.
i felt heavy guilt all day about not letting them out
and couldn't help but picture them like little cartoons
holding their bladders with sad expressions on their faces.
that might be over the top
but not completely unrealistic
(if you know my dogs)
it was a beautiful warm day today
which made the guilt heavier.

i did leave work an hour early and ran them around
but now we are about to go out and eat.
at least they did their business and got a bit of exercise.

i have been sleeping so hard these days
because they are filled to the tippety top with activity!
i would like to have some fun sometime soon as an activity.
that would be a nice time!
i'm off abandoning my pups AGAIN!
i'm such a bad mom!

unraveled!

2009-05-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

i was so excited when i unraveled
a plant from our banisters this afternoon.
it had been growing in the same spot for about three years
and it was a big fella!
i was so impressed!
i never realized how long it was getting because
i just kept on twisting it around stuff as it grew.
i felt guilty for removing
it from where it was so happily growing for so many years!
maybe it seemed like a weird metaphor!
all this moving business has got my head spinning
and my plants unraveled!
i hope it gets easier...
sooner than later!

and another thing

2009-05-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

some folks really know how to bring down
the value of a neighborhood.
you know the people;
they are the ones who have a heinous amount
of plastic lawn ornaments.
the ones who leave the half burnt-out christmas lights on...
year round.
the ones who look like they are having a tag sale,
out in front of their house every day...
for the rest of their lives.
i wouldn't want to leave out the super creepy
fans of giant nativity scenes,
sometimes complete with a light up virgin mary
(or two).
the sports fans who have flags,
lights and window coverage announcing
"their team".
they really know how to class up the 'hood!
i would like to thank these types of fun-lovers
for making sure i avoid buying
a house in a neighborhood
i would have otherwise liked.
great.

a little bit of skank (goes a long way)

2009-05-27T15:22:00.000-07:00

more house-hunting.
it is almost comical how you can love a house so much,
right up until you walk into the basement...
or pull back a weird curtain,
or look in the dang backyard,
or find the source of a otherwise unexplained smell!
jeez.
we were walking through one that seemed pleasant enough
and then...
WHAM!
a skanky wet basement that looked
like it should be filled with dead animal carcasses.
i'm sure upon further inspection
we would find that my assessment was correct.
i can get passed a little skank,
but sometimes (or always) it leads to a worse
issue of skankdom that cannot be conquered easily.
we are trying not to get bummed,
honestly.
it isn't going to be easy
but hopefully it will be worthwhile
and NOT filled with carcasses of any kind,
animal or otherwise!

lots of bucks and no bang

2009-05-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

whew!
we went house-hunting a little this morning
and boy is it exhausting!
i wish i could say i instantly fell in love with my dream house
but that didn't happen.
i did fall in love with a dreamy house
that was too small,
which is so unfortunate because the views of the mountains
from that backyard could melt your heart!
it was unreal!
our realtor told me not to get too bummed
because the perfect house for us is out there
and he said we would find it.
i hope he is right because the rental we have to stay in for two
months is the opposite of dreamy.
exactly the opposite.
it's an over-priced vacation rental
with no yard,
lots of bugs,
and a damp basement
(which is also where all the bedrooms are located).
what a disappointment.
beggars can't be choosers they say...
and we would be homeless without this place.
i am grateful,
but i also recognize the fact that we are
not getting enough bang for our buck.
it will be like i'm on a vacation in a place i would never
ever vacation in,
and spending more than
i ever would to rent such a place,
whilst not actually getting any of the
awesome vacation benefits.
wait,
the place has cable...
so maybe it's worth it after all.

not impressed

2009-05-25T15:41:00.001-07:00

wow.
memorial day weekend.

why does it seem more socially acceptable
to vomit in public these days than ever before?
i swear teens and young adult types
swap stories about how drunk they get
and it is apparently some kind of a status thing.
the drunker you get,
the cooler you and your story are.
i'm so not impressed.
i actually had a kid tell me
the other day he would rather
smoke pot all day long than read ever.
i'm sure smoking pot has it's benefits,
but i'm thinking reading might help
these kids out with their futures
a bit more.
whatever.
at least they will be popular...
...at the parties i'm not invited to.

i like reading.
and it's okay if you don't like to read,
i just don't think statements of that nature
are very impressive.

loving up my loved ones

2009-05-24T18:08:00.000-07:00

i love my friends.
i have such great ones.
seriously.
right now i'm feeling really lucky.

i'm also really tired.
i worked really hard today.

before i was a tattooer
i never realized how exhausting it could be.
i figured it couldn't be too terrible
sitting around drawing on people all day.
i know better now, of course.

it is a lot of mental exercise
as well as physical.
it takes its toll on the back and wrists.
i'm not complaining, mind you,
it's just an observation.

the path is the goal

2009-05-23T16:54:00.000-07:00

things are working out the way they should.
that's what i think and believe.
tough times are to be expected,
riding out these times will be trying
but i honestly feel the path is the goal.
we will figure it out.

this will not be a long blog tonight
because i honestly
have some jumbled thoughts going on in there!
it is hard to get it all out and make it sound correct
so i'm gonna be lame and give up!

i'm not actually giving up,
just taking a break!
cut me some slack!

ain't no one gonna break my stride

2009-05-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

i've got to keep on moving!
when will it end i ask you?
hopefully we will have these answers sooner than later!

it was sunny most of the day today
but a giant gray cloud
is determined to make it dark
right now.
i'm okay with it,
sun just makes me want to be outside...
it whispers...
"hey,
don't you want to shirk responsibility
and come out to enjoy my lovely warmth?"
there can only be one reply.
yup,
you guessed correctly,
i'm a sucker for nice weather.

i have been determined to get stuff done lately
because i really don't have a choice,
but it's so hard!

all i want to do is garden and play
with my dogs.
also,
it would be great to know i have a place to do that!

we are out of this house on the first
and where we will be is still a little foggy.
i will have updates tomorrow!

sunshine, lolly pops and rainbows

2009-05-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

okay,
i didn't eat any lollipops today,
but the sunshine and rainbows
are totally relevant.
well,
no rainbows happened today either
but i have pictures of the most recent one!
i did see a snake swim
through the river today and climb ashore.
he was very beautiful.
olive found a big fat toad
and naturally tried to ingest the poor bugger.
i thankfully stopped her from her cruel mission
and relocated the toad to a spot that proved to be a bit safer.
in olive's defense
he was quite delicious looking
and he was asking for it hopping about like that.

i stayed home from work today
because i was feeling rather
awful this morning.
i feel much better now after resting.
i really didn't want to miss work.

i will try to work extra
in the next few weeks to make up for it!
it is too hard dealing with the public whilst feeling like
doo-doo.
it's hard dealing with the public on my best day.

i am grateful, however, to mother nature
for making me aware of all the beautiful little creatures
i would have missed had i been at work!

after the rain

2009-05-20T15:08:00.000-07:00

the bees are so busy today!
we are as well,
but it doesn't get done quickly
partly due to the fact that we cannot fly.
we mostly bumbled around confusedly
and tried making sense of all our boxes and
belongings!
the day was bright for the most part
but i thought the sky was threatening rain.
i like a good hard rain at sleepytime...
it so darn relaxing!

i really like the smell of the impending rain.
after it rains,
however,
is an entirely different smell i can only describe as:
worms.
i'm almost positive worms have no smell,
(except maybe to birds; of this i am aware)
but i think it triggers a childhood memory
of worms all over the driveway after a rain.
silliness.
absolute nonsense.
the good kind.

behold the cuteness

2009-05-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

i found this cute little
winged friend in my yard today.
albie and i searched the internet
and my north american birds book,
and the woodcock was the winner
of the look-alike contest.

so i googled it,
and found a picture of the babies...
so it was confirmed.

the little down feather sweetheart was just sitting
right where i put the dogs outside.
needless to say,
i didn't want them to meet!
i called a wildlife center
( because i was nervous he was abandoned)
and they said it was alright to leave him
because mom or dad would be back to get him...
and they were right!
we discovered the whole family!
it was so exciting!

they are really neat looking
and as you can see,
the babies are so stinking cute!
i love them up!

beam me up!

2009-05-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

seriously!
star trek.
see it.
it was so f'n awesome!
i know my dad will love it
being a fan of the original show.

the whole movie was non-stop awesomeness.
the cast was perfect!
i don't have anything else to say really
except everyone should definitely go see it
as soon as possible.

also,
it looks as though g.i. joe
will be making a comeback as well
and i would be lying if i said i wasn't psyched!

bitchburg

2009-05-17T15:17:00.000-07:00

another rainy day.
i almost prefer that when i'm working
because the sunshine is just too tempting!

i usually don't like to use my blog as a journal,
but if i can't rant on my own blog...
where should i do it?

sometimes i just can't keep it to myself.
what exactly makes some people feel they are
entitled to make you stay late at work?
you know the type...
the matter-of-fact asshole who comes in knowing nothing,
demands some kind of everything,
and doesn't give a lick about ruining your evening,
afternoon or morning.

it isn't just this job i've noticed it at,
but at this job,
i actually DO make more money
when i stay to do more work.
i don't actually want to stay,
because i like eating my dinner at dinner time.
i have stayed,
and i will again,
but certainly not for the type i was speaking of above.

it's the people who come into the restaurant
at ten 'til closing and want all your attention,
want to take their time and leave no tip...
or at least not one worth ditching your evening plans for.

it's the lackadaisical shopper on vacation
who wants to tool around at five of,
even though you're shutting the lights off
and it's clear you want your workday to end.

these people NEVER apologize for making you work harder,
or thank you for staying late.
maybe they just think they are SO awesome
you should feel privileged to wait upon their holy asses
and hang on their every word.

i would like for all those folks to experience a major discomfort,
a nasty incurable rash,
or a mind-numbing embarrassment.

that is all.

grateful

2009-05-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

i worked hard today!
i'm feeling it.
it is good to work hard and make those papers.
they are unfortunately a necessity
in this crazy world we live in.
i am grateful to be working;
it isn't easy out there.
some folks make money
because they bust their asses...
and others make too much money
because they can play sports really well.
some folks need to hustle every cent
and others just coast on someone else's dime.
it's all very confusing.

i always say it is easy to become homeless in this world.
that is a sad fact.
i think that all too often people just assume that
homeless folks are mentally ill,
or on drugs,
but in reality
losing a job or making some bad choices is all it takes.
losing a job is easy,
and making bad choices isn't hard either!
be grateful if you are working and have a roof over your head.
a cardboard box isn't much of a shelter,
but their are plenty of folks out there who
would call that home.

holy spinal tap!

2009-05-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

we are back from our adventure
with stories and tales of all the fun we had!

we saw our families in connecticut,
and then traveled on to philadelphia;
to visit my friend jenny...
...and, of course,
to see unwigged and unplugged,
(christopher guest, harry shearer, and michael mckean,
formerly of the 80's parody band spinal tap)!

i don't feel like a had a long enough visit with my buddy jenny.
she works at the theatre where they played
and got us the greatest seats!
an amazing time was had by all!
we ate delicious vegan food where jenny made a reservation
and then got dessert at a different place!
she was an incredible host...
she even gave us her bed and slept on the floor!
we wore veggie face-masks
and played with her ferrets!
it was a whirlwind of fun!
a big fat thank you to ms. jenny!

i only wish we could have seen all
of our people and for longer!

it is good to be back though,
even though i'm out of soymilk
and want a bowl of cereal.

thank you to all who
were involved in the whirlwind!

i'm so excited, and i just can't hide it

2009-05-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

this is going to be another short blog.
i have to pack to go to connecticut,
and then philadelphia to see my family and friends!
i'm so excited!

i'm also hungry
but that's getting taken care of because
albie is making me dinner.
he's good like that!

i loaded up on some major snackage
for the long rides we will be embarking on.
i absolutely cannot function without snacks.
also, i like a variety.
i get cranky when i don't snack often,
it's really obnoxious.

i can't wait to see my peoples!

all the mothers

2009-05-10T15:15:00.000-07:00

this tattoo isn't for a mom,
it was a memorial piece for a dad.
it was a cool idea,
and it was fun to do.

happy mother's day!
i hope all you moms out there
are having a wonderful time mom-ing!
i'm talking to the animal mothers
out and about in nature as well,
because you are responsible for little lives!

my day was reeeeeeally boring,
i had to work,
but i wasn't actually doing any.
i was at the job not doing the job.
it wasn't productive at all!

it is really windy outside right now,
i'm figuring it's because mother nature
doesn't want to be left out.
she wants some attention so she's
gonna throw leaves and sticks on our cars
and all over our yards.
i can understand that.
like all moms,
she's got a serious job
and she wants some recognition.
when she gets mad,
the wooden spoon or the back of a hand
isn't what's coming your way.
she might bust up your whole house and yard with a tornado,
or send a nice typhoon your way.
we better behave.

the tadpoles are saved

2009-05-09T16:16:00.000-07:00

holy crap!
i just drove home in an amazing thunderstorm!
complete with lightning!
and then, right afterwards,
i finished the trip under
a giant rainbow!
it was so rad.
i just used up all my energy being excited,
i feel like i could take a nap!

meanwhile back at the ranch
(house, actually)
i know my hound dog was going batsh!t bananas
over the thunder.
she tries to smash herself underneath
beds and the like.
it's all very dramatic.

i'm not having a bad day!
i love the rain,
it will save the tadpoles
i get so dang concerned about.
the mosquitos are an unfortunate side effect,
but i'm not even upset about them right now!
whoa.

partly cloudy

2009-05-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

i love myself an isolated t-storm!
i don't even care if it's isolated,
as long as it is over my house a bit so i can enjoy it.
i've been waiting for a good one.
we haven't really had one yet this year,
and i feel if it's gonna rain it might as well bring the thunder!
so much more exciting!
the weatherman alleges we may see one today,
and i hope he is right.

albie and i have some business to take care of this afternoon
(of a grown-up variety)
and then hopefully a bit of enjoying the day will happen!
who knows,
could be rain, could be shine,
could be a bad-ass booming isolated t-storm!
i'm ready for whatever this day wants to bring.
unless, of course,
it's un-fun crap.
then,
i might just decide to curl up in the fetal position,
but at least i'm forming a plan!

snooze fest

2009-05-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

blogging!
my new responsibility!
the dogs aren't the only excuse to leave
an outing early...
now i have to get home to blog.
equally as obnoxious,
i'm aware.

i don't even know what to write about half the time,
i just know i'm going to commit to it!

i just ate so much chinese food,
i think i need to retire early
and sleep off the fatness.
that sounds like a good plan to me.
we had dinner with some amazing friends,
and it was a great time!

i'm off to take care of my sleepiness.
hopefully my blog will be more interesting
tomorrow.

even more bloodsucking

2009-05-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

i get really freaked out by ticks.
hard.
one just crawled into my shoe...
and apparently is also a magician,
because he completely disappeared.
nasty.
i just put the shoes outside...
what else can i do?
the gross little bastards.
bloodsuckers.
the way they blow up into big,
fat bloodsuckers might be one of the sickest things ever.
being outside would be more excellent
if bugs weren't literally out for blood.
not all of them mind you,
but a lot of them.
the others just go for the eyes.
temporary blindness is only
slightly better than having your blood sucked.
fact.
my brain is almost totally full,
so i can't write too much more.
it's jumbled in there.

vamping it up

2009-05-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

today is a dreary one.
we need the rain though.
i don't want our swamp to dry up,
we have a lot of tadpoles in there!
they are way too cute.
the mosquito babies can go to hell though.

i don't like blood sucking insects,
or anything that has tendencies
to want to drink my blood.
that makes me think of vampires,
and how they are portrayed.
if we're talking anne rice-style bloodsuckers,
i might hang out.
however,
the 30 days of night-style vamps can
go where the mosquitoes go.
they are waaay too scary and unattractive
for me to want to hang out with them.
so unsophisticated.
no ruffled shirts or wine sipping.
although, that isn't very attractive either.
oh well,
i guess it's a good thing they don't exist,
so i don't have to make those
difficult dicisions.
i have been told by EVERYONE to read the "twilight" series,
so i'm going to get that going as soon as
we get settled!
i hear those vampires are romantic.
awwww.

heads would roll

2009-05-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

we just got back
from seeing the new wolverine movie.
all i need to say is if i had adamantium claws,
i would be chopping heads and not caring!
at all!
i don't even care if that movie
kept in step with the comic or not,
it was non-stop ass-kicking buffet
of awesomeness.
i just like myself a super violent action movie,
i can't lie.
nothing is cooler than super powers,
nothing.

missing my buddies

2009-05-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

just look at these two...
(three if you count the loaf dog)
aren't they just so beautiful?!!
i took these photos on their last visit up here.
we had such a good time!
when i took these photos
we were having a picnic on the deck!
you can have a picnic almost anywhere,
you just need food,
and maybe a blanket.
i always have fun with them,
because kids are made of fun.
i am missing on them so hard
because i could use a little break from the un-fun
i've been having!
i don't know what the universe has in store for us,
but i hope it had better include some fun!

a kick in the seat

2009-05-02T17:34:00.001-07:00

ugh.
i worked late today and it felt terrible.
working isn't fun at all,
or at least,
it wasn't today.
it IS fun when a gross amount of money is made,
but that didn't happen either.
i didn't even make any tips.
bummer.
i'm a full believer in a worthwhile tip.
it's nice to let someone know
"hey, you were worth it".
although it isn't required in my line of work,
it is appreciated...
and sometimes when all day long no one tips you,
it can really bum you out.
it's kind of like a swift kick in the pants,
from behind.
you never see those coming.
a no fun day is what i had today.
a kick in the pants kind of day.

dog head

2009-05-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

don't jinx it

2009-05-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

i'm blogging late today!
i don't have a lot to say
so this will be a short one!
i'm busy,
and somehow i'm still getting nothing done.
i hate being worried about schedules
and time frames and money.
it's all that grown-up business i don't like to speak of.
i sometimes feel like if i speak of certain things
i will jinx the good stuff and it won't happen!
isn't that ridiculous?

i might be weird.
staying positive is getting harder and harder,
and so is everything else it turns out!
i need a vacation from grown-up land.
it sucks here.

what lies beneath

2009-04-30T16:13:00.000-07:00

this spring is shaping up
to be an exciting one!
everyone seems to have such big moves happening,
whether it's actual moves
or just an emotional transition.
i like discovering new things about myself, friends, and family.
bad or good,
these moments define us and shape the future.
i feel like as long as you can learn something from a situation,
then you've come out ahead.
i really try to just trust the path ahead
and let the universe guide me through.
i try to be a better person and learn from all experiences
positive or negative.
it isn't easy, mind you, it's a lot of work.
some days it's hard work
to not have an all out balls to the wall freak out.
it could be triggered by something as simple
as burning some pancakes.
i wake up grumpy for no apparent reason sometimes
and make it my mission
to bum somebody else out to make me feel better.
i know this is so wrong,
but some days i just don't give a hoot.
all i can do is try again tomorrow!

private property.

2009-04-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

today is a good day for yard work,
not too hot, a slight breeze, and sunny.
i raked up this yard that is not mine,
yet i still feel responsible for.
the hostas were buried
underneath many composting leaf layers.
i didn't rake the whole yard...
i'm too lazy.
but i did clean it up a great deal.
and i played with my dogs,
who have been needing some outdoor time.
i was trying to clean up the sticks strewn
about by the heavy winds
but my dog, hamden,
had other plans for those sticks.
apparently they were hers and i didn't ask
her permission to remove them from the property.
silly me.

i feel like making something
and since my art supplies are packed away
i feel like i need to make something i can eat.
makes sense.
if you eat the creation there can be no mess.
fact.
i think i will go figure this out and make albie help me.
he doesn't look busy
so i might have to find something for him to do.
perhaps he will want to make me a tasty snack.
he is good like that.
i'm good at delegating authority.

wicked world

2009-04-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

i love a cold dog nose.
there, i said it.
it doesn't matter what is going on in life,
a cold dog nose is always welcome.
there are many things
that make me a "crazy" dog person,
but i think i might be a crazy animal person in general.

we traveled to vermont today for lunch...
and it was tasty, but the car ride was too long.
on the way i witnessed a bird make it's early demise
on the grill of a truck going about sixty.
i actually shed tears...
most folks don't do that.
i thought it was terribly sad,
especially since the bird had a partner
who most likely went back to check the scene.
they do that.
it's just so depressing.
in the words of one of my favorite characters
"what a world, what a world".
seriously.

everywhere signs

2009-04-27T16:36:00.000-07:00

today we are breathing.
tomorrow we will continue to breathe
and take it easier than we have been.

the universal plan.
it will give you a path...
and sometimes that path will fork,
but signs will be given to you to aid in the quest.
it's all in how you read the signs.
i'm learning.

today i am grateful,
for amazing friends and family.
i am loving them!

they have paths to follow as well,
and i am grateful for theirs crossing mine.
it's all just a big magical mystery tour.
sometimes it's less magic and more mystery,
and other times it's more magic...
and i find it's mostly always a mystery!

bus station skanks

2009-04-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

dang, dang, dang.
albie and i sometimes forget we are covered in tattoos,
and probably look like we deal drugs.
rich white people don't understand how folks with tattoo coverage
aren't filthy drug addled freak shows.
i can't say i blame them to be honest with you.
...and you have a pit bull...DANG!
it is especially apparent when looking for a house to rent
and meeting the landlord who instantly decides there is NO
way he's going to rent to you because you are clearly a raging
skank who probably deals drugs,
or at least does enough of them to trash his house and not care.
what a drag.
what can you do though?
well, for starters, showing up in a shiny subaru outback is
definitely a start!
haha.
it wasn't a rusty buick...which is a plus.

we are still plugging away at our ridiculous living situation.
it's all such an incredible hassle.
i will keep you updated...we are waiting to hear back,
but i'm not holding my breath.
i have a fear of suffocating.

brown town

2009-04-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

this picture is of my little sister when she was a wee thing.
i always thought it was funny, and cute.
those goggles are so good.

the spider i spoke of yesterday did end up dying,
in case any of you were waiting with baited breath for that news!
it's hard to say whether or not he was old...
or what sex he was...
or anything else about him really.
he was brown, and small.
i should have put him in the toilet where
all small brown things usually go,
but instead i put him in the windowsill
where he might have wanted to be if he(or she) were still living!
i had a really awesome spider in that very window for a long time.
i used to feed him mosquitoes.
he just up and left me one day...
so i think that one was a boy!
haha, just kidding!

it was so nice to hear from my brother today.
it is always nice to hear from him,
but today he was really happy,
which of course made me really happy.
he is the best one!

the weather was awesome today...
i was enjoying the breeze through my window at work.
the worst is when you are huffing up on some fresh air
and you suddenly get a big fat revolting whiff of cigarette on the same breeze.
i mean, there are definitely worse things to get a whiff of...
but still.

sometimes you just be ugly

2009-04-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

i always found the term "heavy petting"
rather hysterical.
the only thing i pet heavily
is every single animal i encounter,
but that isn't what heavy petting
usually means.
i just think it's funny regardless.
i wanted to bask in the humor with you.

i just tried to save a spider from going down
the drain in my shower,
and i think he may be waterlogged,
but he could also be dead.
some spiders will trick you and play dead
whilst planning their grand escape,
dillinger style.
i hope he's just messing with me,
but he wasn't looking too good.
i feel bad that folks hate on them so hard,
and get so excited when they are killed.
i understand it,
a little,
they are totally horrifying.
but also really amazing.
i think it really beats that people hate so hard,
due to the ugliness
that most spiders seem to share.
i mean, talk about being born unlucky.
people hate things more if they are ugly;
-fact.
it isn't a good thing,
but it's usually true.
people can't tolerate it.
everything seems like a metaphor when you look for signs.
i'm just hoping the little ugly survives,
poor baby.
nasty way to go!

lucky charms

2009-04-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

not one,
not two,
but THREE,
yes, three flippin' rainbows on my way home this evening.
i'm praying it's a sign.
it would almost have to be, right?
i'm just going to go ahead and say it is.
i could really use some positive rainbow beams
right about now,
and maybe a unicorn.
well, the unicorn isn't necessary...
but they are really kick-ass
and that counts.

what a bummer reality can be sometimes.
no super-heroes (besides dad),
no unicorns or manticores,
no leprechauns;
but i hate leprechauns so i'm glad they aren't real.
i know a real life harpy...
...but she isn't cool in any way.
what hope do we even have here?
we need some avengers-style,
ass-kicking awesomeness here
and no one is following through!
a ninja or some kind of battle-dwarf
would suffice.
jeez, c'mon universe...
let's get this going.
i'm not asking for much.

hammie bama-lammie

2009-04-21T12:32:00.001-07:00